Have you ever seen a crazy person? Maybe at a public park or a town center? Maybe you don’t even have to go that far. Maybe there’s one at home or at work. You know what I mean. The type of crazy person who’s out there, crazy, makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? One the weekend, my wife and I, Silvia, we went down to the main park in Sydney, Centennial Park. It’s kind of like the big, central park in New York City or hype Park in London. You get the idea. We went there to enjoy the nice winter weather, and there was a crazy person there you know with arms going everywhere, shouting screaming. It was ugh. It was really uncomfortable.

Hi. I’m Kristen Myers. I’m the founder of Next Level Coach Co where we help professionals and entrepreneurs who are looking for that next level in life, whether that’s more money, more joy, more fulfilment, more vitality. We help them get there by breaking through their unconscious limiting beliefs and negative attitudes, so they can live a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Back to the park. This crazy person was running with their arms everywhere, screaming, shouting, looking intensely at people. Oh, it was intense. First thing I thought was, “Wow, this guy has no fear at all. I could never do something like that. What would people think of me? It would be ugh. Horrendous.” I thought, “Well, why couldn’t I do that?” I realized, “Well, yes, first of all I’m terribly afraid of what people might think of me. Second,” I thought, “Well, it’s not in my nature to do that kind of thing.” Not in my nature? What does that mean? Well, it’s not part of my core identity. It’s not who I am.

That leads to today’s topic, which is identity. My identity, up until this year, was that I was a successful technology executive at a big, corporate company. I realized just recently that when I met people for the first time, I was often doing this unconsciously, I would tell them that as part of who I was part of who I was was that I worked at this big company because it was a prestigious well-known brand. I realized fairly recently that part of the reason I did that was because my own self-belief and self-worth was quite low. I needed to use some of that larger-than-life brand just to pump up my own identity. That was a mini-breakthrough for me right there.

The other part of my identity was that I was a straighty-180. Someone who worked hard, did well, achieved a lot, and then would put on a nice suit to go to work. I also realized that part of my identity was by putting on that suit I had kind of created an enhanced identity of myself. That ‘suit guy’ at work, he was more successful, more intelligent, more confident, and he could get things done, which was quite interesting because in my personal life I wasn’t quite as confident let’s say.

I ran this identity program in my head for over a decade. While it served me during that time, it got me to where I am today, I’m grateful and thankful for all the opportunities and success that I’ve had up until today, I realized that it wasn’t fulfilling me anymore. It was time to change the identity and go out on my own. Break free of that traditional, corporate career mould, and go and do something on my own, forge a new identity.

Why did I decide to do that? Well, I realized that identity is an extremely powerful force in our lives. It’s what we think of ourselves. It what we believe about ourselves to be true. It’s how we see ourselves. How we feel about ourselves. It’s what drives everything that we do. People say, “Ah. I’m not this type of person,” or, for example, “I’m not a smoker. I’m not a drinker,” or, “I am a party person. I’m not a party person.” It’s kind of a core belief that we have about ourselves. One of my beliefs was that I wasn’t being fulfilled anymore, and I suppose that’s normal. I’m sure you know someone who’s been doing something for a while, whether it’s a few years or five years or a decade, that after that time they feel like it’s time to move on and do something different, perhaps a new challenge. When that’s happening, I think what’s happening there is the person’s outgrowing their old identity. Perhaps the cost and the pain of being in their old identity it gets to a certain threshold so that they have to do something new. That’s kind of me.

I was having a great time in my career but I got to a point where I decided that’s enough and I’ve got to do something different. I changed it. I changed my identity. Do you want to know how I did it? Well, it was easy. Actually, it’s not quite true. It’s an easy process, but the process of actually doing it can be quite uncomfortable at first.

That crazy person I mentioned back in the park who shouting with arms everywhere doing crazy things? Well, that was actually me. I was claiming my new identity. I decided just before the run that was enough was enough and I was going to decide there and then who I am now. “What do I stand for? Who am I?” I declared that to myself and to the unfortunate other folks that were in the park at the time.

We’re all led to sometimes believe that fulfilment comes from the things that we have and the things that we do. Things like money or expensive toys or expensive trips. Those types of things. Those things might meet some surface level needs, but I think you’ll find that the deeper fulfilment comes from within and from who we are, who we need to be, who we grow into. We only have to look at some of the tragic high-profile deaths that we’ve seen in the media recently where people who seemingly have had everything have tragically ended their lives because while they might have money, wealth, fame, all the things that we think that people want, what they’ve been lacking is deep inner fulfillment. My heart goes out to all of the people affected by that. It’s a terrible tragedy.

It’s my belief that fulfilment comes from growth along the journey of getting to where it is that we want to go. For example, if we set some goals that we want to have certain things, well we have to go on a path, a life path, a life journey to get there. Along that path, we grow. It’s my belief that it’s not so much about the things that we get in the end, the achievements we get, or the material possessions that we claim at the end of the journey, but it’s more about who do we grow into? Who do we need to be? Who do we become to get there? That’s where the fulfilment comes from, that life path of growth and transformation.

What’s your identity? Do you even know what it is? Are you happy with it? Do you want to change it? Well, the good news is that your best self has got you to where you are today, so wherever you are today you can look back and think, “Well, who have I been to date?”, because that person’s got you to where you are. Regardless of what’s happened in your life, whether there’s been tragedies, comedies, adventures, joys, any kind of emotions up until now, that’s the past. You can now decide from this moment, just like I did in the park, what your life and story’s going to be about going forward.

You might be thinking or saying to yourself now, “But Kristen, I can’t change my identity just like that. I mean, I’ve been telling myself my whole life that I’m not good enough or I’m too tall or I’m too short or I don’t have enough experience or I have too much experience or I can’t do this or I can’t do that or that’s not me.” I’m here to tell you that those are just limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that are in your mind. They’re not real. You’ve been telling them to yourself for so long that you believe them, and it’s time to let them go.

If you need help with letting them go, I have a special program that can help specifically with that, but they are just thoughts. They’re just in your head, and we can get rid of them.

It’s time for you to decide who you’re going to be going forward. If I can change my identity than anyone can. For the people out there that know me personally, it’s absolutely crazy that I’m recording video now live, direct-to-camera, and publishing that onto YouTube. I mean, in my previous life, I would never have done something like this. I hated being in the spotlight. I feared it. It would get my heart pounding like crazy. I just could never imagine doing something like that. If I can change, you can change.

Let’s do this right now together. What are three words that describe you as a person? I want you to think of the first three words that come to mind, say them out loud or write them down. Three words that describe you as a person. Got it? Great. Now think about those three words. Are they the old you, or are they the you of the future? Have a look and decide. Maybe you’ve been a certain person, but now is the time where you can decide who you’re going to be going forward. Who would you need to be to achieve the dream life that you want to have? The crazy guy at the park, that was me if you didn’t make that up before, who was shouting, “I am love! I am joy! I am courage! I am gratitude! The purpose of my life is to take inspiring action that gives love to myself and others.” That gives you a flavour of who I want to be and who I am now, but who are you?

Just as simple as this, say, “I am something.” What are you? I am what? I am <blank>. I am … Put those three words in, and say it to yourself. Say it out loud. I am … I am … I am … What are you? Decide now. You don’t have to go to the park and like a crazy person or like me, shout it out like I did. Then, on the other hand, what if you did? What would that do for you? How would that make you feel? Maybe uncomfortable? Would it be a good thing? Would it get you out of your comfort zone? How can you unleash all of the joy, courage, passion, love, and multitude of other positive emotions that are already inside you? What would your life be like if you had more of those things, more joy, more courage, more gratitude, more passion, all of those positive emotions? What would your life be like?

I challenge you to be the metaphorical crazy person for a day, or even just for a moment, and see what it feels like. What’s it like to get out of your head just for a moment and into your heart and really feel some of those emotions? It’s a tough thing to do, especially for guys. It was hard for me, but I can promise you that if you can do it just for a moment or for a day, it’s totally worth it.

In doing this process, I’d love to hear from you. What do you learn about yourself? What do you find out about yourself and who are you going to be to live the dream life that you want to have? Let me know by commenting below this video. Can’t wait to see the comments and hear from you. Until next time, cheers.